


The Untold Story of Regulus Black

by maerLoka



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-06-25 10:27:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15638871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maerLoka/pseuds/maerLoka
Summary: Before he became the mysterious "R.A.B." who died a tragic death, taking with him the Dark Lord's secret, Regulus Arcturus Black was just a boy, the quiet son of Orion and Walburga Black, the boy who lived in the shadow of his big brother. He was many things during his 18 years of life: a lonely kid, a Quidditch Seeker, a gifted student, an angry boy who was easily manipulated, a Death Eater, but most importantly, he was smart, caring, and brave.This is only a series of memories from the 1970's, covering Sirius' and Regulus' years at Hogwarts, their relationship, their evolution, from the point of view of Regulus.





	1. Grim old place - Christmas Eve 1971

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Noble and most Ancient House of Black knows how to party, Sirius hates his mom and Reg is a little prick.

The dining room of the 12 Grimmauld Place was particularly busy that evening. Orion and Walburga Black had only invited their respective brothers and sisters, along with their children, but the Black family was a large one, and the place was usually a lot more quiet when Regulus was alone with his parents.

Since last September, his older brother Sirius attended Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, leaving little Regulus behind in gray London. Although Regulus refused to admit it, he did miss his brother now that he had gone away, and he was happy to have him back for the Christmas vacation.

Sirius, however, did not seem to enjoy the family gathering. He had barely said a word to his aunt Lucretia, Orion’s sister, and her husband Ignatus. Lucretia was a cold, grim woman who attended all the family events because she was too polite to decline, but she would only sit in her chair with her lips severely closed and an air of disdain on her face, so still and silent that Sirius always wondered if she actually ate something during the feasts. Her husband was a tall, dark man, who hardly ever spoke to anyone, so much so that when he did, the audience immediately noticed his deep voice and stopped what they were doing to listen to him. Sirius always found them intimidating and rather scary, he would call them vampires and make fun of their pale skin and dark robes, but Regulus thought that Lucretia was just a discrete woman who liked to go unnoticed, something he could relate to.

He actually liked her a lot more than his other aunt, Druella, and her husband Cygnus. Cygnus Black was Walburga’s brother, and he was always the most political of the Black siblings, except for uncle Alphard, but that is a different story. Cygnus strongly believed in blood purity, just like Walburga and Orion, but he actively worked within the Ministry of Magic to pass anti-muggles laws and reinforce the penalization for blood traitors. Druella was also very outspoken concerning blood purity, and she despised the pure-blood families who disgraced the wizarding community by having relationships with halfblood or muggle-born wizards, let alone muggles! Although Regulus was also convinced that pure-blood families should remain pure-blood families, he always thought that Cygnus and Druella were just too passionate and liked to hear themselves talk, but since everybody agreed with them, they were never interrupted.

Well, except for uncle Alphard, of course. Alphard was Walburga’s other brother, and he was the only one who seemed to disagree with the family’s political views. Regulus thought he was an eccentric, and he annoyed him because every time Alphard and Cygnus were there, they would necessarily end up fighting over the same questions and it made Walburga lose her temper, which was not a nice thing to witness. Sirius, of course, liked Alphard the best because he disagreed with everyone. According to him, there were no such things as blood traitors, and being muggle-born was not a disgrace. He even thought that muggle-born wizards and witches had more merit than the pure-bloods since they ignored everything about the magical world until they received their Hogwarts letter, and they had much more things to learn. Thus, Alphard’s opinions always clashed with the family’s traditions, and he was basically the original black sheep of the Noble and most Ancient House of Black, meaning he was also Sirius’ hero and role model.

The two of them had not stopped chatting since Alphard arrived, carefully avoiding any other interaction with any other member of the family, which was a wise thing to do for both of them. The atmosphere was even tenser since Sirius, as everybody knew by now, had been sorted into Gryffindor when he entered Hogwarts in early September. This had been a real surprise for everyone, it was actually the very first time in history that a Black was sorted into anything else than Slytherin. Orion and Walburga, evidently, had never been so disappointed in their first born, while Sirius was prouder than ever. He always did his best to annoy his parents, but this hadn’t been premeditated, and it was a delightful surprise.

However, even Sirius knew that it was wiser for him to avoid mentioning it in presence of the whole family, and he preferred talking about Alphard’s job (he was a teacher at Durmstrang, another school of witchcraft) or listening – clandestinely – to muggle music in his room with Andromeda. Indeed, Cygnus and Druella had come with their three daughters: Bellatrix, who had been recently married to a man Regulus was afraid of, Andromeda, who was in her last year at Hogwarts, and Narcissa who was in sixth year. Naturally, Andromeda was Sirius’ favourite cousin, for she was a bit of a rebel herself. She enjoyed muggle “rock” music and always brought records for Sirius to listen, since she had offered him a record player two years ago. Technically, he wasn’t allowed to listen to them at home, but Regulus knew that Andromeda had offered to perform a silence spell on his bedroom door so that he would go unnoticed.

Anyways, Sirius didn’t seem bored anymore, and he was too busy to care for his little brother. They had been sitting and eating for two hours already and Regulus was starting to yawn. He was sitting next to his cousin Narcissa but she barely spoke to him, and he hated it when he felt like the little uninteresting child of the clan. Fortunately, Bellatrix seemed to notice that Little Reg was not having fun, and decided to cheer him up by causing a bit of chaos.

“So, aunt Wally, you said that Sirius got sorted into Hufflepuff, right? Weren’t you too disappointed?” she asked with her usual high-pitched voice and mischievous smile.

Everybody went totally silent immediately, waiting for Walburga’s reaction. Regulus smirked and looked alternatively at his mother and Sirius, knowing perfectly well that Walburga didn’t like to be called “Wally” or any other ridiculous nickname, and that Sirius was torn between laughing out loud at the offense and keeping quiet because this was also about him. Walburga calmly put her napkin on the table, took her glass of wine in her hand and tried to smile at her niece.

“Actually” she responded, “Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. It is embarrassing enough that he broke a secular tradition by not being sorted into the right house, at least he didn’t end up in Hufflepuff!”

Regulus was delighted to see everybody’s reactions: Sirius didn’t want to laugh anymore, Alphard seemed to be pleased to see his sister struggling to keep a straight face, Cygnus and Druella were trying hard not to smile but were clearly enjoying every second of it, and Bella was utterly pleased. She looked briefly at Regulus and winked, before continuing:

“Oh that’s right, excuse me! Well at least he won’t have to wear those hideous yellow Quidditch robes...”

“I think Gryffindor is great” Andromeda said to distract their attention from a very embarrassed Sirius. “They have the coolest ghost in the castle, and Professor McGonagall is amazing” she added with a smile.

“Besides, it’s ‘where dwell the brave at heart!’” Sirius added, grateful for Andy’s intervention.

“Will you shut up already?” Walburga snapped, and Sirius lay back in his chair as if he was trying to disappear.

Regulus smiled as his mother began to justify herself for this anomaly in the family history. It was extremely entertaining to watch everyone pretending to sympathize with her while they were actually pretty amused. Only Andromeda kept watching Sirius and holding his hand under the table, for she knew how bad he wanted this to end.


	2. Sorting Ceremony - September 1972

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus is anxious as he waits for his Sorting, James is a cute dork and Sirius tries to be a supportive big bro.

Regulus wasn’t feeling very well as he waited for his turn to be sorted into one of the four Hogwarts houses. During the past year, he had been rather amused by his brother’s situation, since his sorting into Gryffindor had been an unprecedented surprise for their parents, and Sirius had enjoyed redecorating his bedroom with the lions’ colours. The walls were now covered with red and golden banners, a giant poster of the best Quidditch captains in Gryffindor history, and he had even painted a big lion head and written the motto of his house right in front of his bed. Regulus pretended to find this utterly ridiculous in front of his parents, but it was actually quite fun to watch, especially since Sirius had put a special charm on his decorations to make sure they would be permanent.

Yet, things were different for him. After all, Sirius was _used_ to being the family disappointment, it was practically a professional skill at this point, whereas Regulus had always been the one everybody could rely on when his brother messed up. He was supposed to make his parents proud. So what if he ended up in Gryffindor too? What if Sirius had opened a sort of evil door that would also bring him in the wrong place? What would his mother think?

While he was worrying about all this, he watched his fellow first year students walk one by one to the chair where they would sit, more or less briefly, until the Sorting Hat decided of their fate. The boy who was waiting at the moment with the Hat on his head was a short, dark haired kid with a sharp nose. He had a strange, ecstatic smile on his face, and he looked at the audience as if they had all come exclusively to see him. It only took a few seconds before the Sorting Hat yelled “Slytherin!” and the boy walked proudly to the table on the right of the hall, as the Slytherin students cheered.

Regulus watched him sit next to a big blond boy who seemed to introduce him quickly to his friends. He observed the students’ faces, and he recognized his cousin Narcissa who was sitting on the other side of the table, her blond hair put up in a strict bun, with the attitude of a proud aristocrat. She barely smiled at the new recruit, and looked back at the platform where the first years stood. Regulus quickly turned his head to avoid meeting her intimidating gaze, and he decided to study the Gryffindors’ faces instead.

He recognized a few people he had seen in the Hogwarts Express, but he didn’t know their names. There was a girl with orange hair who had bought a dozen chocolate frogs for her and her friends, and Regulus remembered he had stared at her for way too long before realizing that she was laughing at him. Not far from her was a boy whom he knew as James Potter, with his big glasses and messy hair. He had met him on the train, that is to say Sirius had introduced them briefly before disappearing with him. He was busy trying to impress the girl who was sitting in front of him, a redhead, by building an elaborate pyramid of glasses. The edifice was dangerously leaning towards his left and the girl looked rather annoyed, but the boy sitting next to James laughed fondly, before turning back to watch the Ceremony again. Regulus noticed he had a few scars on his face, although one of them was partially hidden under his brown hair.

He looked away again and finally found Sirius who was sitting next to the redhead girl, in front of the guy with the scars. He was watching James’ pyramid with great amusement, and he was about to push the plate he had in front of him to cause the glasses to fall, but the boy on the other side of the table stopped him. Regulus didn’t hear him because of the hubbub of laughter and exclamations, but he saw his lips moving as if angrily whispering SIRIUS DON’T! and his brother stopped what he was doing. The scarred boy sighed and focused on the Sorting Hat again, and Sirius imitated him. Then he met his little brother’s gaze, and seemed surprised to see that he had been watching him. Regulus’ stomach twitched, he felt as if he couldn’t hear anything as anxiety was taking hold of him.

Suddenly he realized that the room had actually become silent and people were looking at him expectantly. He turned and saw that Professor McGonagall was watching him above her thin glasses, with the list of students in her hands. “Regulus Arcturus Black?” she repeated. Regulus gulped and walked to the chair at the center of the platform. Some students were laughing at him, and he looked for Sirius again. He was still observing him, and he smiled encouragingly as McGonagall put the Sorting Hat on Regulus’ head. Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait long before the Hat yelled “SLYTHERIN!”

Relieved, Regulus took a deep breath and walked straight to the Slytherin table where people were applauding and cheering. “Reg, come here!” Narcissa said immediately, pushing the girl sitting next to her to make room for her cousin. He sat and thanked the people who were congratulating him, the boy with the sharp nose and strange smile shook his hand from across the table. “I’m Barty Crouch, really nice to meet you!” he said. Regulus smiled shyly. He felt as if a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. He did it, he was a true Slytherin! Now he could breathe again, knowing that his parents would be proud. “Nice job little Reg” Narcissa whispered in his ear. He smiled again and looked over Barty Crouch’s shoulders, at the Gryffindor table. Sirius was still looking at him from across the hall, and Regulus couldn’t tell if he looked disappointed, surprised, or maybe just resigned. In any case, Sirius smiled at him and made a thumbs-up sign, before breaking eye-contact and focusing on the last students waiting to be sorted.


	3. Brotherhood - September 1972

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reg struggles with Potions and makes a new friend.

Only three weeks had passed since the Sorting ceremony and Regulus was already busy with homework. The first year students didn’t have much time to explore the castle that was going to be their home for the next seven years, since every professor seemed determined to make them understand they were here to work hard. Regulus already had assignments in Charms, Potions and Transfiguration, and many additional books to read.

But he didn’t mind, he’d always liked reading and studying. He had spent entire days locked in the huge library of the Blacks at Grimmauld Place, sitting alone by the window. He loved it especially when it was raining outside so he could listen to the quiet sound of raindrops against the windows and light a few candles on the table. It had always been his quiet place, even before he felt the need to take refuge there after Sirius’ first year at Hogwarts, when he would fight with his parents every time he came back for the holidays. Of course he fought with his parents before, but since his sorting into Gryffindor he seemed to jump on every single opportunity to make them mad. First there was the outrageous display of Gryffindor pride in his room, then Walburga heard that he had become friends with “blood traitors and half-breeds” and then the detentions. Their arguments were always violent because neither Sirius nor his mother would give in until the other was hurt, and Walburga wasn’t afraid to physically hurt him. Thus, Regulus preferred to take shelter among the old and dusty books so he wouldn’t hear them scream at each other.

Fortunately, Hogwarts’ library was less sinister than the one at Grimmauld Place, and far bigger. Regulus was truly amazed when he walked in for the first time, he thought he had never seen so many books gathered in the same place, and such beautiful books. They were ancient but in good shape, with colorful covers and golden titles. He admired the shelves for a moment before picking a few books on potions, but he couldn’t find the one he really needed to complete his essay. After a few more research, he shrugged and decided to find a place to work.

There were a lot of students already, especially older students who seemed to be working hard for their OWL’s and NEWT’s, and even after pacing up and down the alleys Regulus couldn’t find a free spot. He went back on his tracks with his heavy books under his right arm, and he finally found a small table in a corner where there seemed to be a free chair. A boy had already settled there with his own books and parchments, but apparently he wasn’t using the second chair and wasn’t waiting for anybody.

Regulus took a few steps in his direction, stopped and cleared his voice. “Can I sit here?” he asked hesitantly.

The other boy raised his head from his parchment and he looked utterly upset. Regulus didn’t know his name but he recognized his face from the Sorting ceremony: he was in Slytherin and he was sitting next to Barty Crouch when Regulus had joined them. He had long, greasy black hair and a sharp nose, and his face was very pale. He seemed to have recognized Regulus too, since he was observing him attentively and hadn’t already told him to get lost.

“You’re the new Black boy, aren’t you?” he finally said.

Regulus wasn’t really sure if that was a good thing or not, but he was determined to not let anybody bully him. Although the boy was older than him, he raised his chin and tried to look intimidating.

“I’m Regulus Black” he answered.

“You look a lot like your brother” the other snorted.

“Absolutely not” Regulus shot back instinctively.

The boy raised an eyebrow at him, but he finally held one hand and introduced himself: “I’m Severus Snape” he said.

Regulus shook his hand and blinked; now he understood why he was reluctant to let him sit down. He had heard Severus Snape’s name in his brother’s mouth before, and it was pretty clear that Sirius and Potter hated the boy.

“You’ve heard of me before, right?” Severus asked as if reading his mind. “You may sit down, by the way.”

“Thanks” Regulus said, grateful. He sat and put his pile of books next to him. “I’ve heard my brother talking about you a few times. Apparently you two don’t really get along...”

“Your brother is an utter prick and an arrogant asshole” Severus interrupted.

He paused and watched Regulus, waiting for the boy’s reaction.

“Yeah… he can be” Regulus answered. “He says it runs in the family, but I think he’s wrong. Andromeda isn’t like that, I’m not like that either.”

“Well, you seem alright” Severus admitted with a little smirk.

Regulus finally relaxed and began working on his Potions essay that was due in two days. Fortunately, he found out that the book he had been looking for previously was on top of Severus’ pile, and he let him borrow it. He even offered to help him when he saw that Regulus was struggling, and Regulus realized the boy seemed really good at Potions. After two hours of working together, Severus packed his things and left, and Regulus thought that he wasn’t the snooty idiot Sirius had described. He even actually enjoyed his company; Severus was smart, hard-working and quiet, just like him. But Sirius had a tendency to believe himself to be better than anyone else, and he loved to mock those who weren’t able to handle his superior attitude.

When he was done, Regulus returned his books and decided to go back to his dorm to have a moment of peace before dinner.


	4. A Decent Black - October 1972

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sirius apply for the Quidditch selections, Regulus meets Sirius' friends and they have a conversation (the first in a long series) that doesn't end well. 
> 
> Long chapter with a lot of talking and I'm really bad at writing Quidditch sessions sry.

October 1972:

 

As the Quidditch season was about to begin and the teams were selecting new players, the castle was growing more and more excited. Last year, Ravenclaw had won the Cup despite the excellent performances of the Slytherin players. Regulus couldn’t say he was really interested in Quidditch, but this year, Narcissa – who had played as chaser for three years now – had been promoted team captain, and she was determined to win the Cup for her last year at Hogwarts. Thus, the general enthusiasm also got Regulus, who decided to watch a few selections. After all, the Quidditch pitch was a nice place, and it was so big he could spend some time reading in the higher stands even if people were practicing down there.

One Saturday, he took the afternoon to go watch the Gryffindor selections, since he knew Sirius would want to try and join the team. He left the dungeons and walked straight to the pitch. A lot of students were already gathered in the stands, and some of them raised their eyebrows at him since he was obviously the only Slytherin in the crowd, though he was wearing casual, dark clothes instead of his school robes. But Regulus didn’t really pay attention and he found himself a spot with a good view, waiting for the wannabe-players to show up. Among the people who were sitting there, he noticed Sirius’ friends in a corner, especially the boy with the scarred face, who was chatting casually with a shorter, bigger boy with blond hair and pink cheeks.

After a few minutes, the Gryffindor captain entered the pitch, followed by two guys who brought the trunk containing the different balls. He made a quick speech and the people who were trying to pass the selections appeared dressed in full Quidditch robes, gold and scarlet. The crowd in the stands cheered loudly and some of them – like Potter, Regulus recognized him even if he wasn’t wearing his square glasses anymore – waved at their fans with a bright smile. Standing next to him was Sirius, who seemed far less confident. Regulus couldn’t help but smirk at the sight; Sirius showing signs of nervousness and lacking confidence, it was something you only saw twice a year if you were lucky enough, like shooting stars or something like that.

The captain asked for silence before he called the first name. Unfortunately, the first three persons he called weren’t good or fast enough to join the team. But then it was Potter’s turn, and as the captain called his name a few girls of first year cheered and giggled. Regulus rolled his eyes. Yet, even he couldn’t deny that James was good. He was even more than that; he was flying on the broom like he had learned to fly before he could even stand on his feet. He was fast and athletic, changing directions quickly to avoid all the bludgers coming his way, and leaning forward on his broom to increase his speed and reach the hoops with the Quaffle, dropping it with precision and agility. When he came back on earth, victorious, everybody stood and cheered proudly. Regulus saw Sirius clapping and smiling at his friend, and James winked at him when the captain announced he was selected as Chaser of the Gryffindor team. James went to sit on the bench of the new players, where he was alone for now, and the selections continued.

They also recruited a girl of second year who seemed to be friends with Sirius and Potter. Her name was Marlene McKinnon, she had long blond hair and a very pale skin with pink lips, but there was a fierce look in her green eyes. She wanted to be a Beater, and everybody was impressed at how strong she actually was. With great agility, she hit every bludger so hard that the players who were supposed to stop them almost fell from their brooms. She was also welcomed with a round of cheers and applause. After Marlene, they selected another guy as Keeper: he was in sixth year and was tall and massive, with square shoulders and big hands. His name was Dorian, and Regulus thought he looked ten years older than James and Marlene who were sitting next to him on the bench.

Finally, the captain announced “Sirius Black, as Beater” and Regulus watched his brother step forward with assurance. He seemed more relaxed than he had been a few minutes before, but his face was still tense. From the bench they heard James screaming “GO SIRIUUUS!” and he was echoed by a few girls in the stands. Sirius smiled shyly as he was getting ready, and he caught Regulus’ eye a second before the captain whistled. Regulus smiled encouragingly and Sirius began to hit bludgers in all directions. He was less agile than Marlene but he was quick and quite strong. He didn’t miss one and didn’t get hit, which was already an accomplishment, Regulus thought. The captain seemed to hesitate, but after a moment he decided Sirius only needed a bit more training, and that Marlene could help him improve. And thus, Sirius joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

As he was the last candidate, the captain declared the session over, and everybody left the stands to join the new players or comfort the rejected ones. James literally jumped on Sirius and hugged him as soon as he was selected, grinning happily. Regulus also watched the two other boys leave their places to join James and Sirius on the pitch. The one with the scars patted James affectionately on his shoulder while the other one congratulated Sirius, then the scarred boy turned to Sirius who smiled at him and hugged him spontaneously. Though he seemed a bit ill-at-ease, he patted Sirius too and let him enjoy his moment.

While watching the scene, Regulus had come down on the pitch to see his brother. Sirius noticed him and left his friends with James who was still talking excitedly.

“Hey, well done” Regulus said timidly.

“Thanks” Sirius answered with a smile. “It was nice of you to come, I didn’t expect that.”

Regulus shrugged. “Oh, don’t get all sentimental” he shot back, “I’m only here as a Slytherin spy to report your team strategy to Cissy!”

He paused and Sirius watched him for a second, before he started to laugh.

“Wow Reg, you’ve become funny! Hogwarts has changed you!” he said, grinning.

He put an arm around his little brother’s neck and began messing with his black hair. Regulus hated it, but he couldn’t escape Sirius’ grasp. After a few moments, his friends had stopped talking and turned to watch the two brothers. Sirius finally set Regulus free and introduced him to the rest of his gang.

“Hey, you already know James” he said, pointing at him. James waved at Regulus with a smile. “Here’s Peter Pettigrew” he added, pointing at the short boy with blond hair.

Peter and Regulus shook hands politely with a shy “Hi” and Peter went back to his place beside James.

“And this is Remus, Remus Lupin” Sirius said, indicating the tall boy with the scars. “Guys, this is my little brother Reg.”

“Regulus” he corrected as he shook hands with Remus Lupin.

They all smiled politely, then Sirius told them he would join them in a minute and they left the pitch. Sirius and Regulus began to walk lazily, enjoying the last rays of sunshine in this October afternoon. They were quiet for a while before Sirius broke the silence.

“So, how’s school going? Did you make any friends?” he asked casually.

“Yeah, there’s this boy, Barty Crouch. He’s in first year too, we’ve become friends after I helped him in Transfiguration, saving him from McGonagall’s wrath. It took him ages to transform his bird into a goblet, but in the end he did it. Apparently he’s been grateful ever since, but I think he likes me mostly because I’m a Black, y’know...”

Sirius snorted. “Funny, people tend to dislike me precisely because I’m a Black!”

“Nah, people dislike you because you’re an asshole, end of the story” Regulus replied with a smile.

“Ah! I guess you’ve met Snivellus Snape already, haven’t you?” Sirius asked knowingly. “Whatever, Gryffindors aren’t all blood supremacists and fanatics, that’s why they didn’t really understand what I was doing here at first, that’s all. But now they know there’s at least a decent Black in this family and that’s me!”

After a moment of walking, they sat on the lower stands. Sirius was starting to feel tired and his cheeks were pink after the effort and because of the cold breeze. Regulus watched him, hesitant. He wanted to ask him about his friends, but he wasn’t sure how he would react.

“Yes, because Gryffindors are so open-minded and progressive, that must explain your choice of friends” he finally said, in a tone that was maybe slightly too sarcastic.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sirius asked, frowning suddenly.

“Nothing” Regulus replied, holding up one hand in a peace gesture. “All I’m saying is, it’s a strange bunch of people. Look at Potter: he’s obviously a Quidditch superstar, he has his fan club and everything, he’s like the exact opposite of the other boy, the short one with blond hair, Peter right? I’m just wondering how these two for example can be friends.”

Sirius relaxed a little and looked in front of him, to the end of the pitch.

“Well, maybe James isn’t such a snob, despite what everybody thinks. He’s a good person, and Peter loves Quidditch, even though he’s not such a good player. They support the same team, and that’s basically all it takes to be friends with James Potter!” he explained calmly.

“Right” Regulus nodded. “What about Lupin? What’s with those scars?”

Sirius turned back to face his brother, frowning again.

“His mother has three cats and they hate him” he said after a moment.

Regulus raised an eyebrow at him. “Really? Do you believe that?”

“Look, it doesn’t matter if I believe it or not” Sirius snapped. “That’s what he told us, and if something else has happened to him, obviously he doesn’t feel comfortable enough to share it with us, for now. Anyway, it’s none of your business.”

“Alright, I’m sorry!” Regulus said. He paused for a moment before adding: “Can I ask something else?”

“Go on” Sirius said as he stood up and began walking back to the castle, his brother striding to catch up with him.

“Did you choose them on purpose?” he asked hesitantly.

“What?”

“Did you choose them on purpose?” he repeated. “Your friends. I mean, they’re all, well, what mom and dad would call blood traitors and half-bloods… I thought maybe that was all part of your plan to make them mad, you know...”

Sirius froze and turned to his brother suddenly, scowling at him.

“Are you seriously asking me that? Merlin’s sake Reg, you’re twisted… Not all of us select their friends based on their blood status, you know!” he said angrily.

Regulus bit his lip and looked at the ground. Apparently that kind of questions weren’t very appropriate… Sirius looked at him and sighed.

“Look, if you really want to know, I didn’t choose them” he replied more calmly. “They chose me. They accepted me. Like, they know I’m a useless prick and I can be arrogant and annoying and lazy, but they still want to be my friends, you know?”

Of course Regulus didn’t know, how could he? He’d never been rejected and everybody liked him because he was so quiet and sweet and reliable. He was in Slytherin where he belonged, where he met people who were just like him. But he nodded anyway because he didn’t want to interrupt Sirius.

“So no I didn’t choose them on purpose, I’m just really grateful they accepted me. And I don’t care what mom and dad think and what everybody in the damn castle thinks, they’re my friends and my family. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take a shower before dinner and it’s getting late.”

Regulus opened his mouth but Sirius walked away before he could say anything, so he just stood there a minute, watching him as he disappeared into the castle.


	5. Decorating - Summer 1973

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus and Sirius have another conversation and they argue again, because Reg has zero tact and Sirius has zero chill and they really struggle to understand each other.

The summer holidays had only just begun when, one morning, Regulus burst into his brother’s room at Grimmauld Place, visibly pissed off. He was only wearing his black shirt, underwear and socks and holding a large box full of cosmetics, creams and shampoos.

“What on earth is this?!” he screamed at Sirius, showing the box to the unconcerned boy who was busy putting new posters on the wall. Sirius turned his head slowly to see what was the matter, and raised an interrogative eyebrow at Regulus.

“This, little Reg, is what it takes to keep me pretty!” he answered with a mischievous grin. He returned to what he was doing, not paying attention to his angry little brother.

“Are you kidding me?” Regulus groaned. “You’re spreading your stuff all over the place, I can’t even find my toothbrush between all your different shampoos!”

Sirius smiled to himself, still trying to fix his giant poster. “Well, I know I was born with this angelic face, but one must cultivate the beauty, Reg! This majestic hair of mine deserves the best.”

Regulus rolled his eyes and groaned even louder, dropping the box on Sirius’ bed. “Weirdo, just keep your beauty-cultivating kit in your room! How can your roommates even tolerate you? Who on earth uses _orange blossom soap_? Really?”

“Uh, civilized people?” Sirius took a step back and looked satisfied with the position of his poster. “Anyway, I get your point” he added. “I’ll take my stuff out of the bathroom. Happy?”

“Yes, please!” Regulus then moved to the end of the bed next to where Sirius was standing. “Can I ask what you’re doing here?” he said, curious.

“I’m decorating” Sirius replied simply.

“Yeah, I can see that. Who’s this?” he asked, gesturing at the poster in front of them.

“This is Janis Joplin, come on Reg! You really don’t know anything” he said, shaking his head with a sigh.

“Right, she’s ugly” Regulus shot back.

“Not really my type either” Sirius admitted, “But she got style! And talent. She is truly missed, believe me.”

Regulus didn’t answer, but he observed the rest of the room instead. It seemed that Sirius had added a few muggle rock-band posters to his Gryffindor stuff. There were also some pictures of his friends, including girls Regulus didn’t know.

“I reckon you know mom is going to kill you, right?” he asked.

Sirius grinned in return. “Oh she won’t go that far, but she will indeed get mad. I really look forward to seeing her face!”

Regulus sighed loudly, not saying anything else.

“What?” Sirius asked as his smile was vanishing from his face.

“Why are you doing this?” Regulus asked, puzzled. “It’s like you enjoy being yelled at and punished, called a disaster etc. Why do you keep provoking her?”

Sirius stared at the wall for a moment without saying anything. Regulus was watching him, looking for a reaction, any trace of guilt or remorse, but Sirius’ face was expressionless. He finally shrugged, still looking right in front of him.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s just my way to make her understand that I disagree with everything she stands for. What can I do? I’ll never be the perfect heir she wants me to be. I don’t want to represent that family.”

“But you do realize that the more you behave like an idiot, the more she will be furious and treat you bad, right?” Regulus asked, genuinely concerned.

“Hey, it’s not my fault if she’s a deranged harpy who enjoys physical punishments!” Sirius cried at him with a furious glare. “What do you think? That I _asked_ for it? Well I never asked to be born in a family of bigots and morons. If you don’t have any problem with that, with all that blood-purity shit they’re feeding us since we’re able to understand anything, then good for you!”

They were standing face to face now, Sirius’ gray eyes seemed to dare Regulus to say anything else. They were both breathing fast, the first one trying to contain his rage and the other holding back a number of slurs that would only make the situation worse. Regulus couldn’t help noticing that Sirius had the exact same look in his eyes when he was furious that Walburga had whenever she discovered Sirius had done something stupid. He took a step back and snorted disdainfully.

“You know what, you really make me think of her right now” he said in a low voice. “You two are constantly fighting, but you look like her, a lot more than you want to admit.”

Sirius swallowed but didn’t say anything.

“And I’ll tell you something else,” Regulus continued, “being insolent and putting down people because you despise them is exactly what you hate about mom and dad, about the whole family. You hate it when they do this with muggles, with mudbloods, but that’s exactly what you do, what you’re doing right now. You think you’re so much better than all of us, well guess what? You’re not.” he spat.

He stood there for a moment, waiting for Sirius’ reaction and surprised he hadn’t hit him already.

“Fuck off” Sirius replied simply, looking more upset than he’d expected.

Regulus turned and left his brother’s room, irritated. He was mad at him, but most importantly he was angry with himself for not being able to talk to Sirius normally, without arguing. As they were growing older, Regulus had the impression that they were turning into new versions of their uncles. Sirius was becoming a little Alphard, rebellious and sassy, and Regulus really, really didn't want to be Cygnus, but it felt like there was nothing he could do about it.

After this episode, he spent most of his time alone, with the house-elf Kreacher as his only company, and they barely talked to each other again before they returned to Hogwarts in September.


	6. Slytherin sessions - October 1973

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of things happen here but Regulus joins the Slytherin Quidditch team, more drama in the next chapter.

It only took one year at Hogwarts for Regulus to learn how to enjoy Quidditch, and to consider the idea of joining the Slytherin team, eventually. He had come to every one of their matches with Barty Crouch, although he didn’t really understand why his friend enjoyed watching people get hurt and fall from their brooms. It seemed that Barty was happier when a player was injured – even the Slytherins – than when they caught the Snitch. Nevertheless, the games were fun to watch. Sometimes he even came to see the Gryffindors play, pretending he was only interested in their technique when it was actually the only way he could be close to Sirius, who barely talked to him now.

Not that their last argument had been more violent than usual, but it just felt like they were slowly drifting apart, each one following his own path and turning his back to the other. Secretly, Regulus thought that if he joined the Quidditch team, maybe they would have something to reconcile over. Or maybe it would give them the opportunity to allow their rivalry and repressed feelings to express themselves on the pitch…

Finally, it was also Narcissa who convinced Regulus to try and join the team. During her last year at Hogwarts, she had been a fierce captain, leading her team with all the determination in the world to a victory over the Ravenclaw champions. All the Slytherins had praised her talents as Chaser and the first female Quidditch captain in fifty years, and Regulus had to admit he was really impressed by his cousin. But now she was gone, and a great part of the team had also left Hogwarts. It was time for a fresh start and the opportunity for young talents to rise and shine.

Regulus had trained all summer when no one was paying attention, he wasn’t even sure to be fast enough even though Kreacher always assured him he was really good. Clearly he wasn’t athletic like Potter, and not as strong as Sirius, but he was thin, light and quick. Plus, he was good at observing people and noticing little things, which could be very useful for a Seeker. Thus, he joined the recruitment sessions for the Slytherin team one fine October morning.

It wasn’t _that_ fine actually, the clouds were heavy above their heads and a cold wind was blowing, piercing through their green robes. Only a small crowd had gathered to watch the selections, but Barty was there to support Regulus, along with Mulciber, a tall, blond boy who was friends with Severus. They were wrapped in their coats, scarves covering their nose and cheeks, but they were here.

The new team Captain appeared, followed by the future players, and they quickly began judging their recruits. They clearly didn’t want to waste their time on mediocre players, and a great number of them were bluntly dismissed. Regulus was anxious, when they called his name he clutched his broom and bit his lip, walking with his head down to protect himself from the wind and the rain that was starting to fall.

“Right, I’m literally freezing over here and I only found two decent people to enroll” the Captain yelled at Regulus and the other players. “I need three more persons and I need them _now_ , so you guys better be good or I swear I’m gonna kick your lazy asses for making me waste my time” he added.

Regulus swallowed. The Captain set the Snitch free and gave a few instructions to his partners, who jumped on their brooms and flew in the airs. He whistled and Regulus got on his own broom, looking for the Snitch. The clouds were thicker and darker than before and he couldn’t see anything with the wind blowing in his face. Plus, rain was now drenching him, sending cold shivers down his spine and through his entire body.

But Regulus hardly got any time to worry about that, since bludgers started to come from every directions to hit him. The players weren’t here to be nice and friendly; there were four of them simultaneously throwing bludgers at Regulus, hardly stopping a few seconds to catch their breath, while a fifth one was trying to catch the Snitch before him. He decided to focus on this one and followed him, for he couldn’t see the Snitch right now. The boy was pretty fast, but he too had to avoid getting hit. Regulus leaned forward on his broom to accelerate until he was close enough to the other player. After a few moments of flying side by side with him, he finally saw the little golden ball, flying a few meters before them. He also noticed the bludger that was coming at him from the right, and he bent down at the last moment to avoid it.

It hit the other player on the shoulder, right where Regulus’ head had been a second before. He heard him scream in pain and he quickly disappeared from his view, while Regulus gave one last acceleration to reach the Snitch and catch it. He exhaled finally, coming down on earth with a victorious smile. He was now completely drenched, wet curls falling in his eyes and mixed with tears of joy, still firmly clutching the golden ball.

The Captain came to shake his hand with a light grin on his harsh face. “That was pretty good Black. You’re in!” Then he turned to the audience and yelled: “Everyone, meet Slytherin’s new Seeker, Reggie Black!”

The people cheered and Regulus smiled brightly, waving with the hand that was holding the Snitch. Barty had that crazy smile on his face, the one that was normally reserved for very badly injured Gryffindor players. Regulus relished his thirty seconds of glory; he had rarely been as proud of himself as he was now. He was going to be an amazing Quidditch player, like his cousins before him, and maybe one day he would be Captain like Narcissa, and they would all be proud of him. He couldn’t wait to see Sirius’ face when he would see him on the pitch for the first match of the season…

Suddenly his smile vanished, and he hopelessly scanned all the faces in the crowd. Sirius wasn’t there. Everybody knew today was the day of the Quidditch selections, and Sirius _knew_ that he wanted to join the Slytherin team, they’d talked about it before taking the Hogwarts Express back in September. And yet he didn’t come.

“Maybe he’s got a lot of work to do. Maybe he just forgot” he thought. “Maybe he doesn’t care...”


	7. Choose who you love - Christmas Eve 1973

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another light and funny Christmas dinner at Grimmauld Place!  
> Be prepared for a lot of family drama and angry teen Sirius.

The atmosphere was very different this Christmas, Regulus could feel that everybody was tense even if he didn’t understand why. His aunt Lucretia was here with Ignatus, silent and quiet as usual, though he noticed that his aunt Druella often whispered things in her ear, to which Lucretia nodded approvingly.

Cygnus and Druella had come with Bellatrix and Narcissa, but Andromeda wasn’t here and he could tell that Sirius was extremely disappointed. In her place, there was Bellatrix’s husband; Rodolphus Lestrange, a dark man with a sharp nose and green eyes. They had been married for eight months now, and for the first time Rodolphus was invited for Christmas at Grimmauld Place.

Regulus had only seen him once before, and he remembered that the man had scared him, even though he couldn’t tell precisely why. He thought that maybe it was because he was younger and that now he would see him differently, but he still shivered when the man laid eyes on him. There was something about him that was just frightening, probably his gaze, he thought after a moment. Rodolphus had the same kind of crazy intense gaze than Barty Crouch, but eventually Regulus had grown accustomed to Barty’s whereas he knew he would never get used to Rodolphus’.

Alphard was here too, he had talked briefly with Orion but apparently they disagreed on whatever it was they were discussing, so he just sat at the table with his glass of wine while Druella, Lucretia and Narcissa were having an important conversation in which he wasn’t involved – and didn’t want to be. Ultimately Sirius had come to chat with him, as expected, but he looked even more depressed than usual, Regulus thought.

After Walburga was done talking to Bellatrix and Rodolphus, they all sat at the table together and began eating in silence. Regulus was bored, he hated those family dinners that lasted an eternity, and this year he couldn’t rely on Bella to distract them since she was now a grown woman and a respectful wife. Even Alphard didn’t want to start a fight apparently, keeping suspiciously calm and polite. After the first two meals, Regulus yawned and looked at the oak clock in front of him, desperate for something to happen.

“Mother” he asked finally, “where is Andromeda? Why isn’t she here?”

There were a few seconds of silence during which Regulus understood that he probably shouldn’t have asked. They all awkwardly glanced at each other, and Cygnus and Druella scowled at him from across the table. After a moment, Walburga cleared her throat, ill at ease.

“Andromeda has made very specific choices, my dear. I am afraid you won’t see her anymore” she said, vaguely.

“Is she alright?” Regulus asked, now genuinely concerned.

“Ah! If she’s alright!” Bellatrix snapped suddenly. “She’s out of her mind, that’s how she is” she added in a lower voice.

“What do you mean?” Regulus asked her.

“Come on, Regulus, you’re making your aunt uncomfortable and that’s not very nice of you” said Alphard, amused, pointing at Druella with the hand that was holding his glass. He sipped his wine quietly while reclining in his chair, purposefully ignoring the glares that Walburga and Cygnus were throwing him.

Druella had grown really pale indeed, and she’d stopped eating and talking. She looked as if she was about to burst into tears.

“Sorry...” Regulus mumbled to the audience.

“Don’t worry Reg, Andy’s alright, she’s just decided to live her own life regardless of what she’s been told” said Sirius out of the blue.

Regulus stared at him in surprise. He still didn’t understand what was happening, but apparently Sirius had decided to join in.

“Sirius, enough!” Orion commanded him.

They all turned to him, since Orion never talked much. Usually, Walburga was the one who scolded and punished Sirius, but Orion didn’t want to hear them fight this time.

“Your cousin is engaged, Regulus” he said quietly, pouring himself another glass of wine. “Unfortunately, we do not approve of her choice. She wants to marry a muggle-born wizard, which is a shame of course, and it afflicts your aunt, as you must understand” he added.

Regulus nodded in silence, going back to his meal.

“What if she loves him?” Sirius asked, determined to prove his point. “It’s not as if you could choose who you fall in love with...”

“Love? What are you even talking about?” Bellatrix spat. “You can’t _love_ mudbloods! That’s just horrifying!”

“Sirius, stop talking about things you don’t understand” Cygnus said.

“There’s nothing horrifying about muggle-born wizards” Sirius added, not even listening to his uncle. “One of the girls in Gryffindor is muggle-born, and she’s top of the class in every subject. She’s as good as me in Transfiguration and Charms, she’s better than any of us in Potions...”

“Sirius” Orion said in a low voice.

“You know he’s right” Alphard said suddenly. “There aren’t a lot of muggle-borns at Durmstrang, but they work harder than any other student and they’re just as gifted as the pure-bloods.”

“Exactly!” Sirius added. “And there’s this other girl, Mary MacDonald, she defeated me in Defense against the Dark Arts when we had a dueling class...”

“Sirius”

“You probably shouldn’t be proud of that” Narcissa snorted. “What is it Sirius, you have a crush on a mudblood?”

“Shut up Cissy! I _don’t_ have a crush on her!”

“Sirius!” Orion shouted.

They all fell silent at length. At the other side of the table, Orion sighed loudly, while Walburga looked as if she was about to murder her son.

“You may leave the table now. Go back to your room.”

Sirius watched his father, hesitating. They were all observing him apprehensively.

“All I was saying is...”

“Sirius” Walburga interrupted suddenly. She stood up and pointed her wand directly at him from across the room. “If you utter any other word, I will hex your tongue so you won’t be able to speak anymore. You better not push me, because you know I _will_ send you back to Hogwarts like that, without hesitation.”

Sirius gulped and stood up in silence, trying to hold her gaze.

“You are enough of a disgrace for this family already, and I won’t have you praising mudbloods, degenerate creatures in front of everyone. Go back to your room in silence for once” she spat.

Sirius looked down at his feet and quickly left the room, not looking back. Eventually, his mother sat down and they all finished eating in silence.

When dinner was finally over and all the guests were gone, Regulus knocked softly on Sirius’ door. He didn’t answer, but Regulus walked in anyway. He found his brother lying on his bed with his arms behind his head, staring at the constellations painted on the ceiling. He didn’t even look at Regulus as he came to sit next to him.

“Are you OK?” Regulus asked.

Sirius closed his eyes but didn’t answer.

“Why are you mad at me? It wasn’t my fault...”

“Who says I’m mad at you?” Sirius asked, eyes still closed.

“You are. You won’t say anything to me.”

“What do you want me to say?” Sirius asked, looking at him in the eye this time. “I am the one who got humiliated and called a disgrace, remember? So why are _you_ whining? This isn’t about you.”

“Hey, fuck you!” Regulus said as he stood up. “I was just trying to talk to you.”

“Don’t” Sirius replied, looking back at the ceiling. “Leave me alone.”


	8. Let the game begin - February 1974

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First Quidditch match of the year between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Be prepared for a "Black family reunion" on the pitch and the nice comments of Gid Prewett.  
> Drama, blood and tears, there you go.

February 1974:

 

It was a cold and windy Saturday afternoon when the first Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin took place. Both teams had been practicing and training really hard for this game, and the old rivalry between the two houses had made everyone even more tense and irritated.

The Prefects had to intervene because of several altercations between Gryffindor and Slytherin students during the week, and the dungeons had to face a sudden invasion of Cornish pixies the night before the match. Professor Flitwick spent a few hours trying to capture them all and they had the time to cause countless damage in the common room and the dorms. Of course, nobody knew how the pixies mysteriously entered, but at breakfast this Saturday morning James Potter greeted the Slytherin Captain by telling him he looked awfully tired, before asking Sirius Black if he had slept well and was fully rested – which he was, slept like a baby, thank you very much James.

Regulus was tired but determined. Thanks to Narcissa, the Slytherins were the current Quidditch champions, and it was absolutely out of question to let Gryffindor take the title away from them. After lunch, both teams left to prepare themselves while the students gathered on the stands to watch the game, filling the place with bright red and yellow banners and silvery and green scarves.

The Captain gave them their last instructions and the Slytherins walked out on the pitch, bright green robes flowing behind them. Regulus breathed in and out slowly, trying to relax and to focus.

“And here come the Slytherin players!” shouted the voice of Gideon Prewett in the microphone. “Led by their new Captain, Avery, who took over from Narcissa Black. And judging by the atrocious purple bags under his eyes, you can tell that the guy didn’t sleep well, is that right Ave?” the voice pursued mockingly, causing all the Gryffindors to laugh and cheer.

Avery threw him a dark look, but quickly focused back on his teammates to make sure they were all in position.

“Yes, right, sorry Professor...” Gideon mumbled into the microphone. “So, Amanda Richardson is also back on the team after a bad accident during the match against Hufflepuff, welcome back Amanda! Slytherin gets its best Chaser back. And I’m not saying this only because she looks super cute, which ISN’T relevant at all yes Professor McGonagall you’re totally right!”

Regulus smirked unwittingly.

“And then we have the new Seeker, please welcome the very young and very sweet Regulus Black” Gideon yelled at the audience.

Regulus felt something tighten into his stomach but he tried to smile at the joyful crowd of Slytherins. Then the Gryffindors entered and the audience cheered even louder. Fabian Prewett, Gideon’s brother, was the Captain of the Gryffindor team. He waved at the crowd as he entered the pitch and winked at Gid who gestured to him with his free hand:

“Here are the Gryffindors, please welcome my beloved – although not that smart – brother: Fabian, Gryffindor’s Captain, followed by his amazing fellow Chasers: James Potter ladies and gentlemen! Wow, lookin’ good Potter… Yes yes, Professor, right. And Miss Dorcas Meadowes is here too. The new Keeper, Dorian Telford, look at _that_ guy… What a giant! And our young but promising Beaters: Miss Marlene McKinnon, the fierce Gryffindor beauty, looks like a puppy but could actually kick your a– oh OK she’s glaring at me, sorry Marls. And Sirius Black ladies! Man, how do you keep that hair so shiny? Come on don’t blush, you’re hot. Hey, looks like we’re having a Black family reunion, how about that? We’re going to have _so much_ fun guys, I can’t wait...”

Eventually McGonagall took the microphone away from Gideon and scolded him while the players took their places. Sirius glanced at Regulus who avoided his gaze and focused on his posture instead. Madam Hooch blew her whistle just after Gid got his microphone back, right in time to shout “LET THE GAME BEGIN!”

The players rose up into the airs and the balls were released. Regulus had to hurry between Potter and Meadowes who had already taken possession of the Quaffle and were flying towards the Slytherin hoops. He rose up above them to scan the pitch, looking for the little golden ball. People and bludgers were flying past him, and he heard in the distance that a goal had just been scored.

“And Dorcas Meadowes scores! Ten points to Gryffindor!” said Gideon.

Regulus observed the Gryffindor Seeker who was flying in circles a few meters under him, apparently still looking for the Snitch. He moved closer to the Gryffindor hoops and rose higher into the sky, clutching his broom as a violent wind blow struck him. It was pretty dark and cloudy and Regulus could barely see his teammates fighting for the Quaffle not far from where he was flying.

Suddenly, he saw the Seeker in red accelerating and diving. He followed him as fast as he could and caught sight of the Snitch which was flying towards Amanda. She was carrying the Quaffle and flying straight forward without looking at them.

“Amanda! Left!” Regulus yelled, but before she could move to the left Marlene McKinnon appeared out of nowhere and threw a bludger in their direction. Amanda dived, losing the Quaffle to James Potter, and both Seekers avoided the ball at the last second, but they lost sight of the Snitch.

 

Thirty minutes passed and Regulus still couldn’t find the Snitch. His arms and his back ached and he felt tired, but he refused to give up. Slytherin had scored 80 points, and Gryffindor had scored 110. Everybody was out of breath and exhausted; Avery’s nose and lip were bleeding, Amanda had hurt her foot and one Beater had received a bludger sent by McKinnon right in his shoulder. Both teams now relied on their respective Seeker to finally catch the Snitch and put an end to their misery.

“And Potter scores again!” yelled Gideon, his voice echoing through the pitch. “What a man! That makes 120 points for Gryffindor, well done mate, hey watch out!”

Regulus looked angrily at Potter who was executing a sort of victorious pirouette in front of his fan club. He would have rolled his eyes so hard if he didn’t see the Snitch at that moment, shining brightly in front of a scarlet banner. He glanced at the other Seeker who was far away from him, and immediately dived towards the golden ball.

On his way, he flew above Sirius’ head without seeing him. Then, everything happened way too fast. Somebody threw a bludger at Sirius, who didn’t see it coming. But he heard McKinnon screaming “SIRIUS!” and turned his head just in time to hit the ball as hard as he could in another direction. Only Regulus was descending towards the Snitch, holding out his hand to catch it. He was less than ten centimeters away from it when the bludger sent by Sirius violently struck his arm and he collided with the tower behind him. His head hit one of the wooden beams and he fell from his broom, unconscious.

 

When he opened his eyes again he was lying on a bed in the infirmary, and his head was buzzing. His right arm was wrapped in bandages and he quickly noticed that there wasn’t a single part of his body that didn’t hurt. Still, he managed to sit on the bed with a painful grimace. It was dark outside, he could see that the night had fallen, and judging by the sudden grunts of his stomach, he could also tell that it was well past dinner. Then he noticed that he wasn’t alone.

There was a piece of meat-pie and a glass of pumpkin juice on the bedside table, and standing next to the table, looking outside the window, was Sirius. He was still in his Quidditch robes, hair locks falling from his bun against his tense face. He stood still with his hands behind his back, looking at the moon over the black lake. Regulus glanced at him sideways, then shifted when Sirius turned his head.

He came to sit next to Regulus’ bed as soon as he noticed he was awake.

“How do you feel?” he asked in a low voice.

“Fantastic” Regulus groaned in return. “I feel like I’ve jumped off the Astronomy tower, never felt so good!”

Sirius snorted. “Well at least your sarcasm is still there, so I guess your head is alright!” he replied.

Regulus touched his head with his left hand and noticed there was a deep cut on one side, amid curly black hair.

“How bad is it? What did Madam Pomfrey say?” he asked, now slightly worried.

Sirius rubbed his neck nervously. “She said you have a few broken bones, but it can be fixed. Only two or three weeks, it depends on you.”

“Right.”

Regulus lied down again, too tired to remain seated. He looked at the row of hospital beds in front of him without even seeing them.

“Reg, I’m sorry...”

“I assume we lost the match” Regulus interrupted, not looking at his brother.

Sirius shifted in his chair, uncomfortable.

“Well, after the accident, Avery nearly beheaded me with my own bat and said I should be kicked out of the team. I believe the entirety of Slytherin approved...”

“You’re not going to be kicked out of the team” Regulus stated. “I can already see Potter making a scene in Dumbledore’s office...”

“Well, Fabian says McGonagall and Slughorn agreed that we should re-play this game in a few weeks, if you feel better.”

Regulus paused to think about that. He didn’t know if he would be ready in two or three weeks, but they still had a chance to win this game if he could do it.

“I’m sorry” Sirius repeated.

“Yeah, I heard you the first time” Regulus snapped.

Sirius raised anxious eyes at him. “You know it was an accident, right?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“You don’t believe me? You think I did it on purpose!” Sirius stood up to bridge the space between them.

“I don’t know, _you_ tell me” Regulus answered, looking him in the eye.

Sirius clenched his fists and glared at him but didn’t say anything. Madam Pomfrey appeared at this moment to give Regulus his potion, humming a joyful air. Seeing that the two brothers were in the middle of something, she interrupted herself and put the glass on the bedside table, then she cast a warming spell on the meat-pie before she reminded Sirius that he would have to leave in fifteen minutes. He nodded and relaxed, looking back at Regulus.

“You know” he started in a very low voice, “when I saw you falling off your broom, I was so scared. I just panicked and flew straight to you. For a few seconds I thought maybe I had killed you or something...” he paused and breathed in, holding back tears.

“I had never been so scared in my entire life” he pursued in the same tone. “I took you in my arms and there was blood all over your face…”

Regulus turned his head again to avoid his brother’s gaze. He looked sad, tired, and remorseful, which was unusual. He didn’t remember hearing Sirius blame himself for anything, and certainly not express remorse for any of the hurtful things he had done.

“You may be a little idiot, and I may want to punch you in your pretty face sometimes” Sirius continued, “but you should know that I’d never hurt you purposely. Never.”

“And it never occurred to you that maybe that was your problem” Regulus answered, eyes closed, head rested on his pillow. “You never do anything _purposely_ , because you don’t think before you say or do anything. And when people get hurt you say you didn’t mean it, how convenient.”

Sirius opened his mouth, but words wouldn’t come out. He sighed and stood there a minute without saying anything else, meditating.

“Can you leave me alone now” Regulus said after a moment, “I’m tired.”

Sirius nodded and walked away in silence. Madam Pomfrey escorted him to the door, and he left the infirmary with a last look at his little brother, who waited until he was gone to eat the dinner he had brought him.


	9. Sneaky Slytherins - November, 1974

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's dive into the depths of the Slytherin dungeons and some twisted minds.
> 
> (In which I really like Barty Crouch Jr, he's so much fun to write, he's like a wicked version of James idk)

November 1974:

 

Regulus couldn’t remember exactly when he and Sirius had stopped talking for good, but it had been a while now. Fortunately, there weren’t any more Quidditch accidents between them; Sirius had learned his lesson. After that, they were on relatively good terms until the end of the year, but things seemed to have changed during the summer.

A growing interest for a certain “Dark Lord” and his followers was disturbing the wizarding community. They were radical pure-blood supremacists who promised to restore the authority of a so-called elite among wizards, and to wage war against blood-traitors.

Everyone in the wizarding world was becoming more and more concerned with this debate as people started to disappear or die in mysterious circumstances. Many Muggle families were attacked, muggle-born wizards and witches were threatened or lost their jobs. Ultimately, the issue was addressed within the Black family, and completely shattered its already fragile unity.

Andromeda, who had chosen to marry a mudblood and had a child with him, was ripped off the family tapestry and officially disowned by her parents. Her sister Narcissa wore a black veil for a whole month as if she was mourning, and Bellatrix repeatedly declared that she was dead to her. After a few more quarrels, Alphard almost engaged in a real fight with Cygnus and Walburga over the way they were treating their respective children. He left Grimmauld Place immediately after, slamming the door, and never stepped foot in the house again.

Sirius and Regulus were caught between all this mess, and none of them dared say anything. As long as he had to live under his parents’ roof, Sirius decided it was wiser to keep his head down and not do anything offensive. Of course, deep inside, he was rooting for the rebellious side of the family, and it was no secret that Andy and Alphard had always been his favorite cousin and uncle. As for Regulus, he didn’t really care, actually. He missed Andromeda because she was always nice to him, but it seemed that she had somehow committed an unforgivable crime. He wasn’t used to questioning his parents’ beliefs and behaviors, thus he assumed that they were certainly right, after all.

In addition to this, the atmosphere at Hogwarts also got tenser. The non-pureblood Slytherins were ostracized and many pure-bloods started to act as if they were royalty, causing the students to argue or fight on a daily basis. In this context, Sirius and Regulus had become complete strangers, carefully avoiding each other.

On November third, Sirius celebrated his fifteenth birthday, and as usual the Common Room and the entirety of Gryffindor Tower was transformed into a huge house party. It was one of those well-known secrets that Gryffindors never missed an opportunity to dance, drink a bit too much and make some noise, especially when one of their most popular kids turned a year older. Usually, a certain number of students from the other Houses were also invited, and as long as there was a silence charm on the door and everybody went to sleep in their respective dorms, McGonagall just pretended she didn’t know anything.

The past years, Regulus had always been invited to his brother’s birthday, although he never came. He said he didn’t like to be surrounded by all these people, but mostly he disliked his friends, especially Potter whom he considered an arrogant twat. This year, however, Sirius didn’t invite him. Regulus spent quite some time pretending that he didn’t care, and he certainly wouldn’t have come anyway. But the truth was that he was annoyed.

In the Slytherin Common Room, he was still working on his History essay at 10 p.m. since he couldn’t focus on what he was writing. Barty was there, lazily spread on the sofa near the fireplace, playing with a ball of crumpled paper that he was flying towards the fire with a light move of his wand. The room was almost empty, only a bunch of Seventh year students were still reading in a corner, under the greenish windows revealing the depths of the Black Lake.

The door opened suddenly and Severus Snape burst into the room with a gloomy look on his face, disturbing the quiet atmosphere of the place. Regulus barely raised his eyes to look at him before returning to his work, but Barty invited him to sit with them.

“What’s up Sev?” he asked casually, waving his wand to take back his paper ball.

Severus threw his heavy pile of books on the table in front of him and frowned, not answering Barty’s question.

“Right, somebody’s in a mood...” Barty scoffed.

“Shut up Bart” Severus answered sharply.

He looked at Regulus, who was still trying to ignore them.

“It’s your brother’s birthday up there” he said to him.

“Yes, I’m aware” Regulus replied without looking up.

“Reg wasn’t invited this time” Barty added, “he’s been moody too, all day long.”

“I am _not_ moody” Regulus said.

“Whatever” Barty waved a nonchalant hand at him before turning back to Severus. “Is it Black’s birthday party that’s annoying you so much, Sev?” he asked mockingly. “I didn’t know you were so desperate to go!”

“Don’t be ridiculous” Severus answered, scowling at him.

Barty sent his paper ball into the fire and turned towards them with a mischievous air. The group of Seventh years left the room quietly to return to their dorms. Silently, Barty inspected Severus from head to toe, and a wide smile spread across his thin face.

“Ah, I see! You were at the Library right?” he said, gesturing at the pile of books.

At this point Regulus gave up and put down his quill to see what Barty was up to.

“My guess” Barty continued in a theatrical tone, “is that you were chatting with Evans, and she told you how impatient she was to finish her homework and go back to Gryffindor Tower where she could dance with James Handsome Potter until the break of dawn! … Hence the dramatic entrance and the grim look, am I right?”

Regulus’ eyes flicked from Barty to Severus, who threw him a murderous glare.

“How dare you!” he spat, and he rose to his feet, looking down on Barty.

“Come on Sev” Regulus intervened at last, “I’m sure Barty didn’t mean any harm, he was only joking.”

“Of course I was” said Barty who was holding Severus’ gaze, still smiling widely.

Severus clenched his fists and struggled to contain his rage. At this point he wasn’t sure if he wanted to stupefy Barty’s ass or just punch him in the face.

“Don’t listen to him, you know he’s an idiot” Regulus offered in a low voice. “Why don’t you tell us what happened?”

Severus made a visible effort to turn to Regulus and relaxed slightly.

“I just told Lily she shouldn’t go to that stupid party, she has a lot of work to do” he admitted. “I even offered to help her with her Potions essay, but she got angry.”

Regulus tried to ignore the fact that Barty was starting to laugh behind Severus’ back.

“I don’t see why you care so much about what she does, though” he said with a shrug. “She’s muggle-born, you’re far better than she is. Just forget her?”

Having said that, he started to pack his papers, books and quill, deliberately ignoring Severus’ scowl. He got up and was about to leave when Severus spoke again.

“Did you know that your brother is dating MacDonald?” he asked.

Regulus paused. Barty stopped smiling and looked at him expectantly. A wicked smile curved the edge of Severus’ lips.

“Wait, what?” Barty asked, confused, turning back to Severus. “Mary MacDonald? How do you know?”

“I just know it” Severus answered without looking at him, his eyes still on Regulus’ back.

Barty frowned. “I thought he wasn’t into… Well, never mind. Anyway, with half of the girls in this damn castle being head over heels in love with his stupid ass, _of course_ Black had to choose a mudblood!”

“Typical” Regulus said finally, turning to them.

“Indeed” Severus agreed, “but still embarrassing. What do you think your mother would say if she knew?”

Regulus looked him in the eye, and wondered why on Earth he hadn’t just let Barty roast him to death.

“He better hope she never finds out...” he replied in a low voice.

“… Or we could have some fun!” Barty offered, smiling again. “Look, why don’t we just scare the shit out of her? That would be a punishment for her audacity. An example for all the filthy mudbloods out there who think they’re equal to us. Then she leaves him, problem solved, honor restored.”

They both simultaneously looked at him, then at each other, puzzled.

“I like the idea...” Severus admitted. “Please, do expose your plan.”

Barty remained silent for a moment, until a brilliant idea crossed his mind.

“We just have to enroll somebody else… Somebody who’s really frightening. I’m thinking Mulciber here” he precised.

“You want to send Mulciber after MacDonald?” Regulus asked, visibly skeptical.

“Why not? He loves tormenting people, and it’s for a good cause. Plus, he’s tall, strong and scary. If you have to engage someone to threaten a mudblood, it has to be him!” asserted Barty.

Regulus shrugged. “If you say so” he replied, turning back and heading toward the dorms.

“Can I ask him?” Barty asked, ecstatic.

Regulus waved a nonchalant hand in their direction without looking at them.

“Sure, as you want. ‘Night lads.” he said before disappearing.


	10. Something wicked - November 16, 1974

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The attack on Mary, trouble and more trouble.  
> In which Regulus is an idiot, Remus is badass and Sirius is forever angry.

November 16, 1974:

 

Barty decided to organize the whole operation, and his demonic mind was overjoyed at the idea of assaulting a Gryffindor mudblood. This was supposed to be a team work, and Barty had spent some time giving specific directions to Regulus, Severus and Mulciber so that they would be perfectly synchronized. He had also planned everything to be sure that they would be alone and nobody would be able to tell it was them.

Therefore, all his expectations were reduced to nothing when Professor McGonagall heard them discussing their plan one morning before class, and gave them detentions for the next two weeks – in addition to taking fifty points away from Slytherin. Barty was mortified. As much as he enjoyed planning the whole thing, he was _really_ looking forward to actually doing it.

Severus felt insulted, he never served detention and was usually a perfect student, but it was useless to even try to argue with McGonagall. Regulus felt the same, his mother would certainly write to lecture him. But he was also frustrated as he realized that he had become much more involved into this than he would have thought.

At first, he didn’t hate Mary MacDonald, and was just unconcerned with her existence. But Barty’s words were in his mind now, and he kept thinking about “honor” and “pride” and other great principles in the name of which they certainly had the right to bully Mary.

He had spent the last few days observing her from across the Great Hall and the castle’s corridors, and now he couldn’t bear the sight of Sirius holding her hand. He hated her loud laugh, her strong Scottish accent, her big mouth showing all her bright teeth every time Sirius said something that probably wasn’t even funny. For the first time, he felt the need to physically hurt her. And now that he was finally determined, their plans were ruined by McGonagall.

Only Mulciber hadn’t been sent to detention, since he wasn’t there when their Professor interrupted them, and had arrived late to class that morning. They had considered waiting two more weeks before their assault on Mary, but they had all become impatient. Plus, the punishment inflicted by the Gryffindor Head of House only increased their determination.

Thus, after debating the issue, they decided to trust Mulciber with their mission, and let him handle this alone. Regulus was a bit worried since everybody knew that Mulciber wasn’t exactly the smart one, and he was afraid something could go wrong. Severus, on the other hand, was actually relieved that he wouldn’t be involved and therefore wouldn’t be accused of anything. As for Barty, he fully believed in his friend’s abilities.

And this is how, one November evening before dinner, Mary MacDonald was attacked on her way back from Hagrid’s cabin where she had come to fetch a book on magical creatures.

 

*

 

When a group of Hufflepuff girls of Second year found her lying on the floor, eyes wide open and convulsing, Regulus and his friends were still in detention, and dinner had just begun in the Great Hall. Mary was immediately brought to the Hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey did her best to heal her, but she was truly horrified at the sight of her convulsing body and blank eyes.

 

“Have you guys seen Mulciber?” Barty asked as they finally settled for dinner.

There weren’t a lot of people left at the Slytherin table, the major part already headed back to the dungeons where they could finish their homework. A few persons shrugged or nodded negatively as they got up and left the Hall.

“No, and I don’t like it” Regulus replied, nervous. “Something’s wrong.”

“Well, MacDonald isn’t here either, so I guess it’s not _that_ wrong” said Severus, pointing at the Gryffindor table.

Over there, Mary’s friends were equally anxious as dinner was almost over and she didn’t show up. Regulus saw his brother looking up expectantly every time someone walked past the door, and Evans checked her watch every two seconds.

“Relax” said James in an attempt to comfort her. “Maybe Hagrid told her to stay for dinner...”

“Don’t be stupid Potter” Marlene McKinnon answered sharply. “Hagrid knows we’re not supposed to miss dinner and the curfew. Besides, Mary isn’t exactly the kind of girl to break the rules...”

“Alas!” said Sirius in a dramatic tone.

Marlene threw an apple at his head.

“Oi!”

“You deserved that one!” Remus laughed.

“Right, right, I know” James continued, “I was just trying to reassure you girls...”

“Well you totally failed, then” Lily snapped. “I really don’t see what’s taking her so long, she was just supposed to grab a book, maybe have a cup of tea and get back. We have a team presentation in History tomorrow and it’s not finished, she knew I wanted to come back to the Tower early so we could...”

Lily’s worries were interrupted by a younger Hufflepuff girl who ran straight to them.

“Hey, are you friends with Mary MacDonald?” she asked.

“Yes, what’s up?” Sirius replied.

“She’s in the Hospital wing, we found her on the floor… She’s not well...”

“I’m coming” Lily said, getting up.

“Me too” said Marlene.

Sirius didn’t say anything but was on his feet in an instant.

“Wait, we’re coming with you” Remus added, and they all rushed to the infirmary.

Regulus watched them anxiously from across the room, and the three of them finished eating in silence. When they walked back to their Common Room, Regulus still had an unpleasant feeling creeping in the back of his head. They didn’t talk much, but everybody knew that Mulciber’s disappearance wasn’t a good sign. As they approached the dungeons, Regulus heard the sound of footsteps behind them. They were coming closer, and he heard voices in the distance.

“Sirius, would you _please_ listen to me...” asked the familiar voice of Remus Lupin.

Regulus turned and saw his brother striding towards them, followed by Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, who were desperately trying to hold him back. The two groups stopped and faced each other for a moment.

“Sirius, this isn’t a good idea...” said James. “Let’s get back to the Tower, OK?”

“I think that’s the first sensible thing I ever heard from you, Potter” Severus spat. “You should indeed go back to where you belong...”

“Or what?” Pettigrew asked defiantly.

Severus arched an eyebrow. “Do you really want to know?” he said, grabbing his wand.

“Oh shut your mouth, Snape!” Remus snapped, pointing his wand at him. “Do we really have to do this?” he asked Sirius.

“No, you don’t” Sirius replied, and the next second he rushed to Regulus, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and shoved him against the cold stone wall.

Barty held out his wand, but he was instantly disarmed by James, as Remus and Severus battled for a moment before Remus barely ditched a spell cast by Snape and Peter ultimately disarmed him. The three of them took a few threatening steps forward and the Slytherins stepped back, leaving the Black brothers to their business.

“What did you do to her?” Sirius asked, holding Regulus firmly against the wall.

“I didn’t do anything, I was in detention! You can ask McGonagall. I don’t know what you’re talking about” he said in a low voice.

“You’re a shit liar Reg, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You guys attacked Mary. You may have been in detention, but I know you’re behind this.”

“Then prove it!” Barty shouted.

Remus laid down his wand, calmly walked to him and punched him in the face with surprising strength, sending the smaller boy to the ground. Regulus looked at them, then back at his brother.

“Fine, let’s say you’re right” he said in a cooler voice. “So what? It’ll teach her a lesson...”

Sirius tightened his grip on Regulus’ collar, his forehead pressed against his brother’s.

“You little bastard...” he said in a whisper. “She was hit by a torture spell! Madam Pomfrey said she had never seen this before… It was fucking Dark magic!” he yelled.

Regulus flinched. So that was why Mulciber had disappeared… He thought they weren’t supposed to really hurt her, maybe use Slugulus Eructo or something like that. He wanted to tell Sirius, but he knew that Barty and Severus were watching him. He tried to push Sirius away, then pulled himself together and scowled at him.

“I don’t care” he replied bluntly. “She’s nothing but a filthy mudblood, she shouldn’t even be here. And you’re no better than her...”

James and Remus looked at each other, then at Sirius, but his face was impassive.

“Now I can see that Mother was right...” Regulus continued. “You think it makes you special, hanging out with blood-traitors… But you’re not special. You’re not my brother. You’re a disgrace, and you disgust me!” he spat.

James turned and took a cautious step in their direction, leaving Remus and Peter with Severus and Barty.

“Sirius...” he said softly.

“I’m going to fucking murder you...” Sirius murmured, pointing his wand at his brother’s throat.

“Sirius!” James cried.

“Hey! What’s going on here?” a voice shouted suddenly from the end of the corridor.

They all turned to look at the dark silhouette that was walking in their direction, and it was only when he arrived under the torchlight that they recognized Frank Longbottom, the Prefect. He looked at them for a few seconds and sighed loudly.

“Really guys? The four of you, _again_?” he said, looking alternately at James, Remus, Peter and finally Sirius.

“They attacked us!” Barty hurried to his feet.

“Right, right, we’ll see about that” he replied. “Black, this is neither the appropriate time nor place to fight with your little brother.”

With that, he walked to Sirius, grabbed him firmly by the shoulder and pulled him away from Regulus, forcing him to lower his wand. He gave a few orders but Sirius didn’t hear him, and he walked away with the entirety of the boys following him, still clutching Sirius’ robes to keep him close as they headed for McGonagall’s office.


	11. Different paths - February 25, 1975

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus trying to get some work done and failing miserably. Memories and nostalgia and all that stuff.  
> Also some super awkward Severus and Lily bc Severus really is a moron.  
> And meet my girl Mary MacDonald, who didn't appreciate that "prank". She's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face.

February 25, 1975:

 

The ambiance was rather gloomy at Hogwarts; students were overwhelmed with work, the castle was dark and cold and it seemed that they had not seen the sun for months. Not only were they tired, getting out of bed before sunrise and leaving class when the night was already dark, but the recent events also made the students more nervous and irritable.

A sort of tacit agreement had been made between basically every House that wasn’t Slytherin to stick together and resist in front of the increasing number of pure-blood supremacists, and the news of the political context that were coming to them from the outside world were not reassuring.

Regulus and his brother had not exchanged a single word since the attack on Mary, for which Mulciber had been expelled. Regulus and his friends had been extremely worried that they might follow him out, but it seemed that Mulciber had not mentioned them at all, for they never heard about it again. Only McGonagall was aware that it had been _their_ plan all along but she had no proof, so that was it.

Although they didn’t talk anymore, Regulus noticed that Sirius and Mary apparently broke up. He wondered if the attack had anything to do with it, or if she simply got tired of him. In any case, Sirius was definitely alone, despite the fact that dozens of girls seemed to be in love with him (and not only girls, Barty would say, although Regulus preferred to ignore that). Some rumours said that he even rejected Grace Taylor, a tall blond girl with bright blue eyes and a pure-blood Ravenclaw, who was arguably one of the most popular beauties of Hogwarts.

Regulus couldn’t help but ask himself what was it about his brother that seemed to drive all the girls crazy, why everybody liked him so much as if he was so special. He was a bit of a show-off, although Potter was even worse. He wasn’t a genius, or particularly hard-working, even if he still managed to get good grades in every class, except for Potions. He wasn’t even the best Beater in Gryffindor’s Quidditch team, since McKinnon was a far more gifted player. It seemed that he wasn’t even trying to get all this attention…

“ _Maybe it has something to do with the orange blossom soap or being an unruly dumbass or whatever_ ” Regulus thought with a sigh as he was being distracted from his homework, with his quill in one hand and the other one under his chin.

Regulus’ memory wandered, and he seemed to recall things he thought he had forgotten. He realized that he also used to admire Sirius, once. When they were younger, he thought he was the best brother in the world; he was funny, caring and brave. He wanted to be just like him when he’d be older. At that time, it seemed that he was, indeed, special.

He remembered one day when they were playing football in the garden at Grimmauld Place, Regulus accidentally kicked the ball too hard and missed the goal. The window of the living-room behind Sirius shattered, and it also broke an ancient porcelain vase that Lucretia had brought back from a trip to France. Walburga loved that hideous vase, and she was already rushing downstairs and yelling at them, furious.

Regulus instantly started crying, he was terrified of his mother’s punishments, and he knew that she didn’t care whether it was an accident or not. But then, Sirius put a comforting hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed it.

“Don’t cry Reggie, it’s alright.”

When Walburga looked at the damages, horrified, Sirius took the blame and told her that he broke the window and the vase. Regulus was then sent to his room with no further trouble, and he looked back at his brother who winked at him with a soft grin.

This was only one of the many occasions for which Regulus was definitely grateful for his brother. Not to mention when he would sneak into Sirius’ bed at night when there was thunder outside and he was frightened, or when they would look at the stars and Sirius taught him to recognize the constellations they were all named after. All these images came back to him with surprising clearness, and it led him to wonder when things had started to go wrong, and how he and Sirius had taken such different paths...

“Are you still here with me?” Severus asked in a stern voice, not looking up from the parchment on which he was scribbling frenetically.

Regulus started. They had been working in the Library for about an hour now, and he still hadn’t written a word. They were alone at their table, Barty having decided to avoid any form of schoolwork for tonight. It was already dark outside, and Regulus was hardly able to keep his eyes open. He wondered how Severus managed to be so efficient and quick, and if being tired was something he ever experienced.

“Er… Yeah, I’m here” he replied.

He yawned and tried to focus on his work, but that essay wasn’t inspiring _at all_.

“What are you thinking about in that little head of yours?” Severus scoffed.

“Nothing that concerns you” Regulus retorted a bit more aggressively than he intended.

Severus’ eyes finally left his parchment and he observed his friend for a very long moment, frowning. His glance made Regulus feel extremely uncomfortable, although he tried very hard not to show it. It was as if he was trying to look into his soul, his brain, and scanning every single reaction of his body.

“Very well” he finally replied before returning to his work.

Regulus looked away and started to observe the people around them, desperately looking for a distraction.

There was a bunch of nervous First years who were doing researches on grindylows, some older students working for their OWLS and NEWTS, a few Ravenclaws working on a History essay. Alone in a small corner beside a window was Remus Lupin, whose scarred face was almost completely hidden behind a pile of books. Regulus watched him for a moment in silence, still thinking that there was something odd about him but unable to tell precisely what. The other boy didn’t seem to notice, and he only raised his head to greet Lily Evans as she passed by, followed by Mary MacDonald.

“Uh oh, look who’s there” Regulus said, pointing at them.

Severus raised his head and turned in the indicated direction. The two Gryffindor girls walked pass them and he turned again, following them with his piercing eyes. Suddenly he seemed to have lost all his countenance, his usually stern face finally showing some signs of human emotion, his unconcerned attitude not so unconcerned anymore.

“Hey... Lily!” he muttered, reaching out to her clumsily.

“Hi, Sev” she responded abruptly. “Regulus” she nodded.

Regulus nodded back and looked at Mary, who observed them without saying a word through gritted teeth. There were a few seconds of awkward silence that seemed to last an eternity, before Severus managed to articulate another sentence.

“So, er… You know it’s Hogsmeade this week-end and, er… I was wondering if you’d like to go. With me, I mean. If you want, we could go together...” he suggested.

Regulus eyed him, amazed. Severus always seemed to completely forget about the concept of dignity when he tried to interact with Lily Evans. Usually, he found that rather amusing, and he and Barty liked to argue about which one was more ridiculous between Severus and Potter when it came to Evans, but right now he was really embarrassed for him.

“Oh, sorry, I already promised to the girls that we’d go together...” Lily replied, pointing at Mary.

Severus glared at her, then tried to recover a neutral face.

“Oh, fine. Maybe we can meet at another moment, then. We still have that potion we’re supposed to prepare...”

“Yeah, well actually I thought I’d do the potion with Dorcas, she really struggles and she needs some help...” she said, looking down at the books she was holding to avoid Severus’ gaze.

“Well, you could have told me… I was waiting for you to get started!”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, can’t you just leave her alone?” Mary snapped suddenly.

Severus looked at her, outraged. The librarian raised her bespectacled eyes from her book and shushed them with a wave.

“Excuse me?” Severus asked in a sort of angry whisper.

“Listen, Lily doesn’t want to work with you, she’s tired of you and your bigoted nonsense and the bunch of bullies that you call your friends. She’s just too polite to tell you.”

“Now that’s not very nice of you, MacDonald” Regulus said in a low voice. “You could show some respe-”

“Oh you, don’t get me started!” she hissed, pointing a threatening finger at him. “You know what’s not very nice? Sending a vicious brute after your brother’s girlfriend because you don’t like her blood status!” she yelled.

Regulus opened his mouth, but he was so taken aback that he couldn’t manage to answer anything. The librarian rose behind her desk and ordered them to get out immediately.

“Let’s go, Mary” Lily said, taking her friend by the sleeve of her robes.

“You’re a true lunatic, I don’t know what you’re talking about” Regulus mumbled.

“Oh, you don’t?” Mary asked, breaking away from Lily’s grasp and walking straight to the Slytherin boys. “Let me tell you something, Black. I’ve had enough of your family bullshit already. You and your brother better settle whatever it is that’s wrong between you, and leave me the fuck alone!”

“Mary...” Lily called.

“No, I’m not finished yet!” Mary cried, before turning back to Regulus. “You and your friends are nothing but a bunch of disgusting, loathsome fanatics. And you expect me to _respect_ you?! But you don’t deserve my respect. You are despicable, and we don’t want any of you near us again” she snapped.

The librarian finally left her desk, furious, and strode across the room to throw the girls away herself. But Mary wasn’t done with them. She leaned over the table, looked Regulus straight in the eye and whispered:

“I’m not afraid of you, Black. If you, or any Slytherin ever attacks me or any of my friends again, I won’t even need magic because I’ll punch you so hard in your pretty face your mama won’t be able to recognize her precious darling!”

Then she stormed out of the Library, followed by Lily who was still desperately mumbling some excuses to the irate librarian.

After they were gone, she looked angrily at the rest of the students who quickly went back to their own work. Severus observed Regulus for a while without saying anything, then he calmly packed his things and left. Regulus didn’t move a muscle, sitting still and silent and looking straight in front of him.

He felt as if he had been knocked out, his head was buzzing. He clearly didn’t expect that kind of violence from Mary, and even if he was boiling with rage, he certainly wouldn’t go after her now. It took him a minute before he could breathe normally again, and only then he looked around him.

At that moment he realized that Lupin was watching him from his corner, having moved his pile of books to the left when he heard Mary yelling. Regulus glared at him, as though he was defying him to say anything. But Remus held his gaze, and his amber eyes expressed surprise, judgment, and a sort of pity – but nothing like the rage and hatred that he’d seen in Mary’s dark brown eyes. He just looked at him very calmly for a moment, and then went back to the open book on his desk.


	12. Peace offering - Summer 1975.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family drama, again, but this time Sirius and Reg have a normal conversation.  
> (basically they just have a lot of feelings but they're both stubborn idiots)

“Well, that last meeting surely was stimulating, wasn’t it?” Cygnus declared as the members of the Black family were taking their seats at the dinner table.

“It was indeed” Walburga agreed, “and it seems that there are more and more people present every time, the Dark Lord is growing strong.”

“I thought his speech was incredible, very inspiring” Bellatrix added, enthusiastic. “The man is a born leader for sure, he is very charismatic. Did you hear the part about the blood-traitors within the Ministry? Things are about to change, finally!”

Sirius rolled his eyes so hard at this but didn’t say anything. Since the beginning of Summer he was really trying to stay out of trouble with his parents, afraid that they might refuse to let him go spend the month of August at the Potters’. But then they started to attend those political meetings with the Dark Lord’s followers, “as every respectable pure-blood house should” his father had said, and they wouldn’t stop talking about it. Especially since they brought Regulus with them for the first time.

“What did you think, Regulus?” Cygnus asked finally.

They all turned to him and Regulus shifted on his seat, nervous. He hadn’t talked a lot about what he saw and heard during this meeting, and now his parents and uncles all wanted to hear what the new recruit had to say. Sirius was also eyeing him expectantly, which didn’t really help.

“Well, I thought it was interesting...” Regulus said, straightening himself and purposefully avoiding eye-contact with his brother. “There were a lot of people, it was quite impressive actually.”

“Don’t be frightened Reggie, you’ll soon join us!” Bellatrix giggled.

“Not now Bella, the boy’s barely fourteen. Let him graduate first” Narcissa’s soft voice declared.

“Let him graduate, and maybe make his own choices...” Sirius mumbled.

“Come on Cissy, it’s never too early to make the right decisions for your future, and Reggie here is a smart boy, isn’t he?” Bellatrix responded, clearly ignoring Sirius’ statement. “Besides, it’s not like Sirius intends to be of any help at all, so let me rely on the smart one.”

“That could be the title of your autobiography, Bella!” Sirius snapped. “ _Let Me Rely on the Smart One, Because Obviously I’m too Dumb to Think for Myself_ , a story by Bellatrix Black Lestrange.”

And here we go, Regulus thought. Eight days. Sirius managed to stay quiet and more or less decent for eight days since they left Hogwarts for the holidays. But eventually, he had to make a scene at some point. The guy couldn’t just sit down and shut up, of course not. So now Bella was up, hysterically shouting slurs with that high-pitched voice of hers while Orion and Walburga ordered Sirius to apologize – in vain.

Since they were back from school, everybody was trying to get them to come to those meetings and join the organization following the Dark Lord, and Regulus didn’t understand why they all seemed so shocked that Sirius refused categorically to come. It wasn’t as if it was really surprising, but their parents appeared determined to compel him no matter what, which only made things worse.  
Ultimately Narcissa managed to get Bellatrix to calm down, and Walburga started to scold Sirius for being such a terrible son, cousin, and overall: person.

“It just amazes me that every time I think you can’t embarrass me more than you already have, you somehow manage to prove me wrong!” she said.

“I wish you could see how hard it is for us to deal with your irresponsible attitude. You are supposed to be the heir to this house but you act like a child” his father declared.

“Your parents are right, you shouldn’t turn your back on your family” Cygnus joined in.

“You are a part of this family, whether you like it or not, Sirius. This is where you belong and you should act accordingly” said Narcissa.

“You’re just being insolent, as usual” Regulus added. “You think you’re so special, better than any of us.”

It went on and on and on, Sirius remaining silent and trying to keep a straight face even though his head was spinning and he thought he was about to explode. The words echoed through his head, but he’d heard it all before, he just needed to wait until they were done. He knew it was useless to try to argue when they just wanted to rant on about how big of a disgrace he was.

So he sat there and rolled with the punches, pretending that he didn’t feel terrible while everybody – including his little brother – was trying to make him feel guilty for not joining a reactionary and violent organization. But at some point his mother mentioned Alphard, and it was just too much for him to handle.

“You really are just like your uncle: selfish, arrogant, full of yourself, but also weak. You two are too weak to admit that you’re wrong and you’re afraid of doing what’s right for us, for this family and all pure-bloods, to preserve our community.”

“What’s _right_?” Sirius shouted at last. “You think attacking innocent people and their children is _right_?! You think harassing and threatening wizards who aren’t pure-bloods is right? And that’s what you want him to believe?” he asked, pointing at Regulus. “What’s wrong with you all?”

“Sit down” Orion commanded him.

Sirius glared and then turned to Regulus.

“Reg, you can’t possibly think this is right, can you? I know you’re stubborn and they’ve brainwashed you, but you’re not stupid… please!”

“Don’t lecture me like I’m your child, Sirius. Just sit down” Regulus answered without looking at him.

Sirius shook his head in defeat and walked out of the room before his mother had the opportunity to send him away.

 

*

 

About an hour later, Cygnus, Druella and their daughters left the house, and Regulus sneaked in the kitchen before going upstairs. He knocked on Sirius’ door, but was met with a dull silence. He knocked again.

“Sirius, it’s me...”

“Piss off!” his brother replied from within the room.

He took a deep breath to calm down and stay polite.

“Come on Si, I just want to talk.”

“I don’t.” Sirius’ voice seemed far away. “I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to fight with you again. I’m done.”

“I don’t want to fight either” Regulus responded. “Listen, I brought you some cheesecake.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Just open that goddamn door!”

There were a few seconds of silence before Regulus heard footsteps inside Sirius’ bedroom, then he heard his voice right behind the door.

“Why would you bring me cheesecake? Is it poisoned?”

Regulus rolled his eyes.

“No it’s not, but I’m already starting to regret it.”

The door opened finally, revealing only Sirius’ pale face. He raised a suspicious eyebrow at his brother who was standing there with a small plate full of cake in his hands, looking slightly bored.

“What’s that for?” Sirius asked.

“Consider it a peace offering” Regulus replied, handing him the plate. “You never make it until dessert whenever Cygnus and the girls are here.”

Sirius’ right hand appeared from behind the door and reached out for the cake.

“Thanks” he said coldly.

“Can I come in?”

Sirius eyed him suspiciously, then he sighed and stepped away to let him in. He put the plate on his bedside table next to a half-empty bottle of firewhiskey, before returning to the couch by the open window where he’d been sitting. It was not completely dark outside and a cool breeze was coming in with the sound of crickets. Regulus noticed that the record-player offered by Andromeda was there in a corner with a few albums scattered on the floor. Hunky Dory, Pearl, Houses of the Holy…

Sirius lit a cigarette and sat looking at the tall trees of the mansion’s garden while his brother stood next to him, silent.

“You know you shouldn’t be smoking...” Regulus said at last.

“Well, you shouldn’t be joining a racist organization, but here we are.”

“I didn’t join anything!”

“You didn’t join anything _yet_ ” Sirius corrected. “But you heard them, they’re waiting for you. You probably already have your seat with your name on it and everything.”

Regulus opened his mouth to reply but he refrained himself, knowing that whatever he would say would only make things worse. He let out a long sigh and shook his head.

“Listen, I told you I didn’t come to fight with you...”

“And what exactly did you come for, then?” Sirius interrupted, turning to face him. He crossed his legs and took a drag on his cigarette. Regulus rolled his eyes again.

“I don’t know!” he replied sharply. “Because I feel bad for the way I spoke to you, for not being able to have a normal conversation with my own brother...”

He folded his arms and swallowed before continuing in a much softer tone.

“There was a time when we could talk without ripping each other’s head off, remember?”

Sirius gulped, he felt as if an invisible hand was clutching his throat.

“Yes, I remember” he said after a moment. “It was a long time ago.”

“Was it?”

Sirius watched him with his piercing gray eyes without saying anything else. Then he turned back to the window and finished his cigarette in silence.

“I know you think I’m a horrible person...” Regulus said in a low voice.

“I don’t think you’re a horrible person Reg” Sirius answered, still not looking at him. “Mother is a horrible person, and so are Cygnus, Bellatrix, her creepy-ass husband… But _you_ -” finally he turned to look at him again. “I never thought you’d be like them. You’re not a heartless idiot. Which is why I don’t understand what you’re doing!”

Regulus shook his head and turned around, he didn’t know what to say and refused to allow Sirius to see how confused he was.

“It’s like you’re just doing what you’re told without thinking” Sirius continued. “And it’s not like you. You were always the thinker, and I was the one who never thought about the consequences before doing something stupid!”

A brief smirk curved the edge of Regulus’ lips before vanishing almost instantly.

“Oh but I still am the thinker, believe me. I thought about this a lot. I think about it all the time.”

“So what?” Sirius asked, visibly losing patience.

“I don’t know, I’m just scared Sirius!” he cried, finally turning back to look him in the eye. “I don’t want Mother and Father to think that I’ve turned my back on my family, that I don’t care about them or that I despise them. I know you hate them and what they stand for, and I know you have your reasons, but they’re still my family… _Your_ family!”

He paused and watched Sirius who was staring at him, his tight jaw, his gray eyes turning dark. He didn’t seem to want to reply anything, and the silence that had fallen made Regulus very uncomfortable as he was looking for the right words to express what he felt. He let out a long sigh.

“I just… I can’t give up on them and find myself all alone, like Alphard, or Andy. Or you...” he added after a brief hesitation. “Guess I’m not as brave as you.”

Sirius swallowed and continued to stare at him silently. He wanted to say something. He wanted to tell him that Andy was not alone, that she had somebody who loved her and that she would make a family of her own. He wanted to tell him that he was not alone either, that his friends were the only family he needed, the ones who truly cared about him and accepted him. But that wasn’t what Regulus meant.

“Are you going to say something?” he asked after a while.

“What do you want me to say?” Sirius shrugged.

“I don’t know. Something. Anything.”

There was another pause during which Sirius wondered if he should insist, if there was anything that he could say to make his brother change his mind, to make him realize that he was making the wrong choice. But in the end he seemed to give up and sighed.

“Thank you for the cake” he answered at last.

Regulus sneered, but that wasn’t exactly the response he’d hope for. He stood there for a moment, half expecting something else, then he finally turned away and Sirius just watched him leave the room in silence.


	13. Slytherin Pride - September 1975

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus joins the Slug Club.  
> This is a very short chapter featuring my boy and Slughorn and a bit of nostalgia. And the Black sisters bc they're always here even when they're not (what do you mean I might as well write a complete fic about the sisters' years at Hogwarts -and after- since I'm so obsessed with them and this family? well you're damn right and I will)

At the beginning of his fourth year at Hogwarts, Regulus was chosen to join the very selective Slug Club, along with Severus. Indeed, professor Slughorn considered Severus Snape to be his top student in Potions, and Regulus was undoubtedly one of the best students in Slytherin, getting top marks in every subject and doing an amazing job as his house’s Seeker on the Quidditch pitch. Slughorn was beyond thrilled to meet his new recruits, and he decided to organize the first dinner of the year only two weeks after the beginning of the semester.

Regulus had been told that he could bring someone with him, but he didn’t have a lot of close friends, being a very private and quiet person. Besides, he wasn’t really interested in girls, and there was absolutely no way he’d ask Barty to go with him – even if the boy was the closest thing to a best friend he had, and even if he was mad that Slughorn had not selected him as well. Of course Severus had asked Lily to come, knowing that she couldn’t politely decline as she was herself one of the new members of the club. He had decided to pick her up at the Library when she would be done with her Charms essay, which meant that Regulus was on his own.

But he didn’t mind, really. After his Quidditch practice, he showered and put on his dressy robes, combed his wavy black hair, and headed to Slughorn’s office. He arrived early, the table was set for dinner but his Potions’ professor was alone, enjoying a cigar before the arrival of his guests.

“Mr Black!” he exclaimed as soon as Regulus appeared behind the door. “Please, come in. Punctual as ever!” he chuckled.

Regulus stepped into the room and walked to the fireplace. He tried to decline the drink that Slughorn was pouring him, but the man insisted so much he felt bad for refusing. He smiled politely and took the glass of wine, looking all around him at the paintings and the pictures on the walls while his professor was chatting joyfully. There were a few strange objects on a desk and black and white pictures on the chimney that caught his eye.

“Ah, these are all members of the Slug Club” he said, noticing Regulus’ interest. “Gwenog Jones, Captain of the Holyhead Harpies” he added, pointing at a picture of himself with a young man who was indeed one of the most famous Quidditch players in Britain.

“I didn’t know he was your student” Regulus said distractedly as he looked at the other pictures.

“Of course he was! A very nice chap, he gets me free tickets whenever I want to see him play” Slughorn replied with a wink.

He went to his desk, opened a drawer and took out a large picture of him surrounded with students, with the date “December 1970” written on top. With a satisfied grin, he handed it to Regulus who studied it closely.

“Is that… Andromeda?” Regulus asked, pointing at his cousin’s face on the picture.

“Indeed, your cousin was one of my favorite students” he responded. “All the Blacks that had me as their teacher were part of the club, you know. Andromeda was a very bright witch, kind-hearted, and she was a great Quiddtich player. Did you know she was Slytherin’s keeper? Ah, she was a fierce one on the pitch! Nothing could get past her. That’s how she met her husband.”

“Ted” Regulus nodded.

“Yes, yes. Tonks. He was a Hufflepuff chaser. He was extremely good too, one of the rare people who could manage to score against Slytherin when Andromeda was there. The tension was pretty high whenever we had a game against Hufflepuff, but you see, eventually that rivalry ended well!”

A soft smile came across his face as Regulus looked at his cousin. The picture was that of the Quidditch team and they were all wearing their bright green robes with silver snakes on their chest. Andromeda was holding her broom with one hand and the other one was on her hip. She held her head up proudly, and she smiled from ear to ear. She had long, brown hair tied up in a ponytail, showing her pale face and green eyes. Slughorn stood next to her folding his arms and smiling too, and Regulus noticed she was much taller than him. He observed the other players too, all smiling and posing.

“And here is Narcissa” Slughorn indicated over Regulus’ shoulder. “For four years they were together on the team, and I can tell you, we broke all records during that time! Oh, the other teams were good, but as I said, Andromeda was fierce, and Narcissa was fiercer. And she didn’t disappoint when she became team Captain.”

Narcissa and the two other chasers were squatting next to each other, arms folded, on the front row of the picture. She was also smiling, not as brightly as Andromeda, but you could see how proud she was.

“Her husband, Malfoy, was also a member of the club. And so was Bellatrix.”

Regulus smirked. “I thought Bella wasn’t exactly what you would call a top student...”

Slughorn chuckled slightly and sipped his drink.

“Well, Andromeda worked harder, and Narcissa got better marks, that’s true. But Bellatrix was very good at Charms, for example. And she was really… entertaining.”

Regulus giggled and handed him the picture back.

“Besides,” Slughorn added as he walked to his desk and opened the drawer, “I wanted to have all the Blacks in my club.” He paused for a moment, looking hesitant, before continuing:

“Unfortunately, your brother is the only one who always refused to do me the honour!”

Regulus paused and looked at his professor, frowning.

“You asked Sirius to join the club?”

“Well, of course I did! The club is open to non-Slytherin students. And I would have been very happy to have him. But Sirius is very… Well, let’s say he’s one of a kind, right?”

Regulus swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Yes, indeed.”

He was relieved when he heard a knock on the door and Slughorn opened to welcome Severus and Lily who had just arrived, carrying a box of chocolates.


	14. Loverboy - March 1976

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of (friendly) Prongsfoot, and a coming out...

March 1976:

 

For once, the Blacks had enjoyed a particularly calm Christmas Eve. Instead of the traditional dinner with all their uncles and cousins, Sirius and Regulus stayed alone with their parents, and Sirius carefully avoided giving his opinion when they got too political. In fact, Regulus noticed, Sirius had become rather quiet during these past few weeks, and he remained silent most of the time.

It wasn’t exactly as if he refrained himself from saying what was in his mind, but rather that his mind was somewhere else. Every time their parents scolded him, he didn’t respond and he just distractedly did what he was told. Something was definitely off, Regulus thought, but he dared not ask what is was. They had made a kind of truce, but he knew it was still fragile and that they weren’t close enough anymore for Sirius to tell him what kept him distracted. Besides, Sirius’ surprisingly compliant attitude made the holidays much more pleasant than usual for all of them, so why complain?

When they got back to Hogwarts, Regulus was soon busy with homework and Quidditch practice, and he didn’t think about all this any more. He only saw his brother on the pitch and sometimes they exchanged a few polite words and that was all.

One evening in March after their classes, Regulus and Barty were going down from the Charms classroom to the dungeons. The weather was nice as it was beginning to get warmer and the sun lingered on the grass and the Black Lake, a lot of students were outside to enjoy a bit of sunlight before dinner. Regulus thought he’d seize the occasion to relax in the deserted common room and read while Barty would practice his Transfiguration spells on every item he’d find at hand.

They had just reached a corridor down the moving staircase, and Barty was talking again about Amanda, Regulus’ Quidditch teammate, when they heard a door slam and loud laughs before them. Turning the corner, they met with James Potter and Sirius who seemed to come out of the girls’ bathrooms, visibly pleased with themselves. But the laughter instantly stopped when they saw the two Slytherins.

Sirius’ face fell and he hurriedly shoved a piece of paper in his pocket. James’ smile vanished for just a second, but he soon retrieved his mischievous grin and ran a hand through his already messy hair. They stood still for a second, Barty glanced over the Gryffindor boys but the corridor was empty except for the four of them. A wicked smirk spread across his face.

“Well, hello there! What’s up Black? What are you and your loverboy up to again?” he asked.

Regulus frowned and gave him a quizzical look, but his brother did not seem offended. Instead he just raised an interrogative eyebrow at Barty and slowly turned to James, who had almost the exact same reaction.

“What did he say?” asked James to Sirius.  
“I think he referred to you as my loverboy, Prongs.”

Barty grinned and was about to add something when James interrupted.

“How sweet is that!” he exclaimed with a bright smile. “See? Told you we’d make a great couple!” he added, bracing an arm around Sirius’ waist and holding him close.

Barty’s smile immediately vanished and his mouth dropped. He exchanged a confused look with Regulus who just shrugged.

“A true power couple indeed” Sirius sneered, gently stroking James’ hair with one hand. “It’s a pity your heart belongs to someone else...”

They started to walk slowly past the Slytherins, still braced together. Regulus watched his brother with a look of sheer confusion, but Sirius just winked and did not say a word to him as they made their way out of the corridor.

“Oh, Sirius!” James continued, dramatically clutching at his chest with his free hand, “don’t be silly, you know that despite my feelings for Evans, _you_ are my one and true love, dear.”

Regulus and Barty turned to watch them continue their little show as they left the place, not even looking at them anymore.

“I don’t know Jamie” Sirius shrugged, “once she finally falls in love with you, you’ll forget about me...”

“Sirius! I could _never_!” they heard James reply as they passed the corner and disappeared, their laughter echoing against the walls as they walked away.

 

*

 

Regulus hardly touched his dinner, he kept picking at his food distractedly while watching his brother at the Gryffindor table. Sirius, on the other hand, was completely oblivious of his brother’s stare and he was involved in what seemed to be a rather serious conversation with Lupin. Regulus narrowed his gaze, he wasn’t really sure what he was looking for but the episode with Potter had left him totally disconcerted. Plus, Barty kept insinuating all sorts of things and he didn’t understand where all this was coming from. He needed an explanation.

“Something wrong, Black?” Avery elbowed him all of a sudden.

Regulus blinked a few times as if he had just been woken from a strange dream, and he became aware of the silence that had fallen upon his group of friends. They were all eyeing him warily, and Avery gestured at the food in front of him.

“You’re not eating anything” he added matter-of-factly.

“Er… yeah, I’m not hungry” Regulus replied.  
“What’s going on?” asked Barty, frowning.

“Nothing.”

Regulus glanced back at the Gryffindor table and saw that his brother and his friends were about to leave the room.

“Actually I just forgot that I have something to do. It’s, er… it’s for Slughorn. I’ll see you later guys” he jumped on his feet and ran out of the Great Hall before they had the time to say anything else.

Once in the corridor, he strode behind the Marauders and finally caught up with them.

“Sirius!”

The four of them turned and looked at him in surprise.

“Sirius” he said more calmly, “can I talk to you for a second?”

Sirius exchanged a look with his friends, but Peter and James just shrugged in response. Remus’ bright amber eyes glanced at Regulus, making him feel slightly uncomfortable.

“It’s alright, we’ll see you up there” he told Sirius in a low voice, and the three of them walked away.

Sirius watched them leave and took a deep breath before turning back to his brother.

“What’s up Reg?” he asked, trying to sound unconcerned.

Regulus cleared his throat, but he had become hesitant.

“I- I wanted to ask you something...”

Sirius quirked an eyebrow and folded his arms, suspicious.

“Well, go on.”

There was another awkward pause before Regulus finally spoke out.

“Just… What's the matter with you and Potter?” he hissed. “This afternoon... what the hell was that?”

“Excuse me?” Sirius asked with a laugh.

“You heard me.”

“Right, but I still don’t get it.” Sirius replied.

He remained silent and watched Regulus throw anxious looks at the people who walked past them to go back to Gryffindor tower. After a moment he took a few steps closer so that nobody could overhear their conversation.

“Tell me Reggie, what is it exactly that you want to ask me?”

Regulus looked down at his feet without saying anything, feeling really embarrassed suddenly.

“Well?” Sirius asked, impatient.

“I- I don’t know… I’m just confused. People keep saying… all those things about you. I just want to know if it’s true” he mumbled.

Sirius seemed to relax, he took a step back and grinned widely.

“I assume by ‘people’ you mean ‘Barty and Snivellus’ and by ‘all those things’ you mean-”

“I don’t _mean_ anything” Regulus interrupted. “I’m just asking you if there’s anything… If you’re...”

“If I’m _what_?” Sirius asked pointedly.

Regulus gritted his teeth and refused to say anything more, avoiding his brother’s gaze again. After a moment Sirius let out a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his hair, looking exhausted.

“Look, I don’t think you really need to ask me anything” he finally replied. “You’re a smart boy Reg, you already know Barty’s not entirely wrong.”

He paused to study Regulus, who was now staring at him with an unreadable expression. He wondered if he should continue, but he thought that his brother would eventually discover the truth sooner or later. Might as well tell him directly and see what happens.

“So, yeah, I… like boys, y’know” another short pause. “But come on, James? Seriously? Let me tell you he’s _not_ my type! I mean, he’s way too much like me. Even I am not narcissistic enough to date him!” he added with a smirk.

Regulus gaped and his eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t know what to say to this. He stood still and silent for what seemed to be an eternity, trying to process what Sirius had just told him. He never received any sort of education on these matters, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Especially, he wasn’t sure how he felt about his own brother being… that way.

Sirius watched him struggle with the information and his inner thoughts, not so certain that he had made the right decision now. He knew that if Regulus was to tell their parents about this… Well, he preferred not to think about what awaited him, then. But the words were said, and he couldn’t take them back. After a while, he finally stepped back and cleared his throat.

“Well, er, we have plans for tonight actually” he said, not so confident suddenly. “So, I’ll see you later I guess. Bye Reg” he waved at him and walked away, leaving his little brother perplexed and confused.


End file.
